The largest whale is a blue whale. The smallest is the very rare chipmunk whale, found only in North American ponds.
In the earliest translations of the Bible, there were three books devoted to the migratory patterns of blue whales. These controversial “lost” books are known as The Whale Gospels.
Although most people know that earthquakes are caused by the shifting of tectonic plates, few are aware that tectonic plates shift under the weight of gang fights between rival whale pods.
BONUS EARTHQUAKE FACT: one of the great benefits of earthquakes is that they stimulate the urge to mate in female blue whales.
Given their size and the fact that they’re constantly in motion, sperm whales and blue whales are extraordinarily hot animals; in fact, whalers from the New England colonies used to call them steam fish. Because of the whales’ high body temperatures, marine biologists believe that approximately 25% of the Pacific Ocean is composed of whale sweat.
King Henry VIII of England once spent the modern-day equivalent of $2.7 million dollars to have a blue whale’s tongue converted into a primitive version of the Slip ‘N Slide.
The stomach of a blue whale is lined with a thin layer of mercury, which serves both a digestive and a coolant function. Because of mercury’s toxic properties, most people who have lived inside the stomachs of blue whales have gone quite mad.
The blue whale’s only natural enemy is diabetes.
The kidneys of a blue whale are shaped like right trangles; some marine biologists hypothesize that blue whales used to have one giant square-shaped kidney before the organ evolved into its current form.
The “grooves” in the belly of a blue whale are actually an oceanic version of a tattoo— ink from dying squids is used to mark the enormous mammals as a kind of camouflage.
1 out of every 100,000 blue whales is born inside-out. With their organs unprotected by flesh, they rarely live very long.
Most tsunamis are caused by blue whales sneezing.
Blue whales do not handle disappointment calmly or maturely. Most large waves on the coast are caused blue whales throwing temper tantrums.